SANTA FE, NM — There’s probably no fucking way to really fucking understand what the fuck was on a Los Alamos’ man’s mind when he decided that he wanted to legally change his name from Variable to a phrase relying upon an “f”-based profanity for meaning. The court’s response, however, left nothing to the imagination.After a state district judge declined the opportunity to grant the man’s personal noun request, the frustrated applicant took his case to the state Court of Appeals.

Alas for the fucked up form filer, Judge Nan Nash was not swayed by his argument that the previous judge had engaged in “censorship.” Instead, Nash ruled that the phrase in question was both offensive – and obscene.

Variable, however, contends that his desire to change his name to a sentence including the infamous “f-bomb,” should not be the contingent upon the government’s approval.

The Court of Appeals says the government has in no way infringed upon Variable’s right to free speech and that he may call himself anything he wishes – with the understanding that the government doesn’t have to give its approval.